She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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