I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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