I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
