Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
