Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
