he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
