Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize