Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
