you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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