hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
