haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
