I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
