Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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