I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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