you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
