apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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