What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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