I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
