yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
