remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize