He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
