just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
