all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
