I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
