Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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