and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
