I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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