Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize