don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
