we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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