New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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