...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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