So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
