Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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