who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
