i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
