you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
