Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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