Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
