Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize