You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
