I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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