Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize