Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just invented taco cereal.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's blow job season.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
