I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
