i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
