you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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