How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize