Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
