Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
