Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
