So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
