feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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