like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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