I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
