I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I need moral support for this bender
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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