So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
