Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
