If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
