It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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