thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
