she was so not down for the gang bang
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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