just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
