Sry I called you an 8
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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