is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
