I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
