I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
