I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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