Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
