how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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