Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
