Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize