It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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