capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
