I'm so fucking centered right now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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