Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"it" just moved
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
