You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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