Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
