Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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