so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
