Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
