he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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