I feel like I'm in dance class right now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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