thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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