Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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